I want to show you something true and beautiful in my life.
Operation Hejira has allowed me to winnow down what I carry with me. The objects that remain are totems infused with meaning, and every week I share their stories with you.
The story
In 2000, I published my first book: a short story cycle titled Brick and Mortar. The cover image, designed by Oberon Press, features an Amadeo Modigliani painting called Woman with a Black Tie.
A few days before my book launch, Shawn and I happened to notice a department store display of brooches based on famous artwork. Lo and behold, one of them was the woman with a black tie. Shawn returned to the store later to buy the brooch for me as a surprise, and I wore it on my black lace jacket at the book launch.
The beauty
The contrasting areas of shiny and hammered gold just make me want to rub my fingers over this piece. I love how the portrait changes in the different medium, from moody and romantic to luxurious and polished.
I’ve rarely worn this brooch since my book launch, so its beauty is private, hidden away in my jewelry box. I’m delighted at the serendipity of how this piece came into my possession, and I smile every time I think of Shawn driving back to the store on his own and buying it for me.
The truth
Why don’t I wear this brooch? I don’t want to mar its pristine surface; I don’t want to put holes in my blouses and it’s too heavy for sweaters. Since I’ve had children, most jewelry like this is off limits anyway. Plus I’m more partial to silver.
I have ambiguous feelings about the book Brick and Mortar. I was in my early twenties when I wrote it and I was conscious of how little I knew about the world. I know the book is good and people enjoy it, and I also know I can do better now. Brick and Mortar was nominated for an Ottawa Book Award in 2001, and that led me to a new writing group and some women I count as dear friends. The publication also qualified me to apply for grants, and I’ve received more money that way than I ever did in royalties.
Now the book is in limbo ~ out of print, with the rights held by the publisher. Some days I want to give it new life and others I want to let it rest in peace. We shall see. One thing I do know is that I will always savour the sweetness of that first publication and the affirmation that I am a writer.
This post takes inspiration from my creativity manifesto, the Truth and Beauty Cycle. I look forward to giving you further peeks into my stash of totems in the coming weeks!
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